It’s been a long day.  Much to my discontent this morning, I awoke to the delicate bleating of the neighbors’ construction crew jack hammering something or other in an attempt to convert their garage to a three car garage, and our landlord and the roofing man, both Chinese, talking outside my bedroom door.

All this after losing power to the entire house on more than one occasion yesterday, leaving everyone in the house freezing cold last night. Two comforters later, and a friend in the bed, and I really didn’t want to be up at 10 AM. Though it turns out I was glad for the extra hour or two that I got, mostly because my 16 year old feral cat decided to voice his displeasure at being cooped up in my room again after discovering the freedom of the rest of the house when we had to leave all the doors open just to warm the place up 5 degrees.  He did this by peeing on the two comforters that were on the bed, forcing an immediate trip to the laundry mat, since the washer and dryer can’t be used without blowing yet another fuse.

So out and about I went, and one wonderful Subway sandwich later, back home again, roofer still here.  Then before you know it, time to head out with Avi to my storage unit, where a large percentage of Christmas and my dry food goods were retrieved and loaded up for the return. The presents may be lacking this year, but I sure as hell can deck the house out with things the kids can’t destroy. Of course, got stuck in holiday traffic for almost an hour on the way home, and there was some major accident on Hyperion Ave that had traffic being fully diverted.

I did drive by the festival of lights in Griffith Park, and thought, there’s something awesome duncan and I can do while he’s down,  and got to drive over one of  my favorite bridges and see my absolute favorite fountain. Something about the fountain at riverside and Los Feliz just made me feel very at home. I used to go by that fountain every Xmas, (and a lot of the rest of the year too, but it’s the holiday here that’s the point.) visiting my god parents, who had this amazing spanish style house up the winding roads in Los Feliz. They had the most beautiful views of LA. Grassy hills, dichondra,  roses and the butterflies and dragonflies filled up my summers there, but during winter, when it would be so cold, standing in their living room, face plastered to the icy glass, I would stare out at the city covered in lights, twinkling for me, for my birthday, as if to say, yes laurel, it’s your time again!

That fountain is the doorway to a treasure trove of memories, that most days slip away like seeds in the wind, but the sky was so clear today, the air so crisp, I couldn’t help but feel almost like I was about to head up that road again, and walk into their living room to help decorate their tree.

I got back home, unloaded everything much to the exquisite joy of the children I live with, who don’t really even know what Christmas can be yet. Out for a walk and into the shower, the first time I have truly been warm to the core all over all day, though I had many moments of heat…it just wasn’t so all encompassing. Made myself all cute and pretty. Sometimes it’s nice for people to see you the way you should look all the time. So now I am sitting here, typing to my hearts content, painting my nails festively for the holiday, and listening to John Denver.

And I feel a bit nostalgic. And I wish I could go back and be a kid again, with this brain I own now, and light the candles on the Christmas tree after we decorated it, make a batch of cookies with my mom, run around in puddles in the rain, feel small in my fathers’ arms, play every record my parents owned on the record player in the living room, and watch the Muppet show on prime time television all over again.

I would love to see every Muppet Christmas special again.

There really were some things about my childhood that were magical. Truly special in a way that you just don’t comprehend until you can not only never have it the same again, but everything has changed so much that the world you live in isn’t recognizable anymore.

And I am so glad that I see my son every year this time of year. That there are traditions that can’t be broken by anyone or anything. That my aunt sent me a tree. That tomorrow I will be going to the store for the fixings for Oatmeal Cookies just like my mom used to make, and decorating the entire house from top to bottom.

It stopped feeling like April some time today. Actually felt like December 19th. Not quite sure exactly when that happened, but it did.

And then I walked outside, at about 10:30 PM and saw a fiery blue shooting star, and got to make a wish…

maybe it will come true.

Happy Holidays Everybody! Peace on earth, goodwill towards men. (and womens, and kittehs especially, and even creepy crawly things)

Merry Christmas Dad. I miss you.

Merry Christmas Mom.

Merry Xmas Grandpa Larry. Grandpa Ben. Fritz and Pauline. Thai-wak. Sneakers. Jasmine. Beahr. Rolf. Tahjik. Woodgie.

Merry Christmas John Denver. Thank you for the soundtrack to my childhood.

Merry Christmas Bowen.

Merry Christmas Dan, Jen, Katie, Alan, Kashi, Xian, Christiana, Robert, Duncan.

Happy Chanukah Avi!

Merry Christmas to the rest of my dear friends and family.

It’s a strange year this year. The most bare I think it’s ever been, but it’s MY day. Somehow I will find a way to make it as memorable as every other. Sober even. If I can’t pull this off, then no one can. And that’s about all I have to say about that.

Just remember:  Love one another, sing a little song, give a little joy. You should be doing it all year, but it’s really nice when it’s cold out, to remember how much we need each other, and how important we are. How fleeting this life is.

It’s been quite a while since I have posted anything. Mostly due to a lack of fully functional computer, proximity to electronics, and a distinct absence of internet.

For those who wish to know, I Lost the house to foreclosure, as the bank took over my rental and I was forced to move out on the 12th of November. I got More help than I ever dreamed possible, and despite having fallen down my stairs previous to the move, resulting in a pulled sciatic twice during the move, and some pretty insane pain, it got done just in time, and was probably the cleanest I have ever left a property.

Moved in with Katie for the rest of the month, sleeping on a self made pallet on the floor in the living room, with rugrats and way too many repeats of atomic betty. (Who is a galactic girl and will rock your world, in case you were wondering, though I think this refers to the desire to shoot oneself in the fucking face after four viewings…) Cut to, you got it people, MORE PACKING!

Her lease ended at the beginning of December and somehow everybody pulled a miracle out of their behinds and we moved again. Realize now, I did move in May, and that took almost two months to pull off. So again in November, and again in December… Time has flown so fast I can barely keep up most days.

It doesn’t feel so much like the holidays, as April.

So here we are. Smack down in the middle of Hollywood. And I must say for a single girl, probably the most convenient place to situate oneself in light of my particular brand of social life. Which despite money and the previous lack of internet, is usually buzzing.

It’s about to be six months since Bowen up and left, and I am, despite being broke, and feeling like one is about to resort to things one would rather not do in order to make money to pay bills, the least stressed I have been in years. I am happier and more well adjusted. I feel like I did before I met him, plus a ton of experience and knowledge. Handy of course.

I thought that dating and putting myself back out into the world of single would be so much more awkward. Wrong on that count. May just be my personality, but I find that meeting people is the least of my worries. I have a roof over my head, even though it leaks in the rain… Food in my belly, though it isn’t much, and Have finally decided to quit drinking.

I have been sober since the 8th.  Working out, going to the gym, just living.

Working on art.

I have been asked back to a gallery I showed at, not by the curator of the show, but by the gallery itself, apparently they love my cats. So I have some new pieces I am working on that need to be done by April,  which fortunately is more than enough time to get some really great work done.

So go me!!!

Now I have to figure out how to dry clothes with a broken dryer in the rain, and get ready for my house guests…

more cat pictures

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