And…So…Yeah.

Life in a nutshell.

Fucked UP.

That about covers where I am starting from.

And with my son here.

Finally told my brother and the lady whose dogs come over for playdates what’s going on. Had a really nice night last night reading and reworking poetry and writing a song with a wonderful friend that sees the real me through all the bullshit. Thank the gods for people like him Who love what they know I should and can be and not just what I am. This song that we wrote, all I can say is that I am sure it will be FABULOUS the next time I hear it. Can’t tell you what it’s about or the title yet. Don’t want anyone stealing our thunder. It’s too awesome. All I can say is it’s beatlesque, but darker. Cynical even. But in a playful taunting way. And the Title is Brilliant! You’ll see…

My brother came over today. He is going to help me try and fix all my car shit… Very supportive. And I really mean that. even if he never reads this blog. I am going to transfer my gym membership to the gym down the street and get a personal trainer there. And start going again. I may be fat and miserable now, but not for long. And at least when I transfer, I can sign Duncan up for the time that he’s here so he can swim and use the rock wall. I will have to get another bathing suit for my ridiculous fat ass, so I can swim and go to the beach with my brother.

Not looking forward to looking like a beached whale but I would really like to get back in the water. My tub really doesn’t cut it most of the time. Not deep enough to be that relaxing, and besides, the gym has a sauna and jacuzzi, so….yeah.

Still doing laundry, avoiding bugs, putting away toiletries and trying like hell to figure out where the hell everything in the kitchen should go. I have a bookshelf to organize since it seems that regardless of ownership, most of the books will be living here at least for the time being.

I am grateful for all the things that I do have, at least, and their inherent ability to make my life a bit easier, comfortable, in light of the current situation. Thanks mom, thanks dad! Hope the other side is treating you better than this one did…

I am glad that neither one of them has been here to see this shit go down the way it has. I wouldn’t want to hear the things my mother would have expressed regarding my life, and I definitely don’t think my father would have known how to do anything other than get really mad and passive aggressive at this point in his life.

At least I am at a point now where I am almost ready to start going through his stuff again and working on the book about his life and work.

I wish Loki were doing better. Sooner than later I am going to need to take him in and get him another shot and some fluids or something. But I did discover that there is a VCA animal hospital on Fair Oaks, and they do good work.

and…so…yeah.

~ by tsukineko on 30 June 2008.